This morning and indeed afternoon, I was in a bubble!
It’s my first time in Buenos Aires! I was happily seeing the city with my host Jerry. I took every stare from passers by as an innocent glance; they must like what I’m wearing!
Then my host had to go so I was left exploring alone… And that’s when things went down hill!
As much as I hate using the following phrases;
“its coz I’m black”
“its coz I’m a woman”
“its coz I’m a black woman!”
sometimes, I fail to realise, before I’m a free-spirited traveller, I am a black woman, and many people will put place their judgement on what they see.
In an incident I experienced this afternoon, I began to wonder if it occurred because I was walking alone…
Some uneducated, socially-backward sad excuse of a person, thought it cool to get my attention by sticking a condom in my face! I was so embarrassed.
And he had the nerve to follow me to see if he’d get lucky!
Thankfully, “F* off” is a universal word so he finally got the gist, after “have some respect!” failed to work.
But from that moment on, my innocent ‘happy to be here’ bubble was burst.
I noticed every car beep, every shout out the car window by drivers, and every gesture and mumble from men to get my attention as I hurriedly walked by!
Every double take to get a glimpse at me was like a lion planing its attack on its prey!
So, I had to wear my “don’t mess with this black girl attitude” to avoid actually being approached again! I looked straight ahead, avoided any eye contact, and had to put on a screw face like you see bad guys wear in movies! Why should it be this way?!
But this was my only defence mechanism to stop myself being approach by backward uneducated losers. And I’m sad to say there are too many of them in this city… Or there happened to be a large concentration of them in my path (or, option suitable for my Spanish friend; “they just follow me; because I’m beautiful!”)
Yes, this was the response my Spaniard friend gave after I ranted about it on Facebook;
“be happy! They approach you because they think you’re beautiful!”
Really? I beg to defer.
I don’t have a problem being approached.
It’s HOW I’m approached!
I don’t need approval from desperate men to know I’m beautiful- they can keep their opinion to themselves until they learn some social manners!!
When a man wants to approach a woman he finds beautiful, he does so respectfully and strategically. In fact he may even be too scared to approach her in the first place!
However, when a man thinks a girl is cheap and easy, he doesn’t need to think twice about what garbage comes out of his mouth!
This is the way I was made to feel this afternoon walking back to the apartment.
“Thanks for the compliment guys… Your actions have made me feel cheap and dirty!”
I was so relieved to get indoors off the streets!
I couldn’t help thinking;
“why the hell do I bother travelling to places where people don’t look like me if I’m made to feel this way?”
But isn’t the point of travelling to also break down social boundaries?…
Do people really need to stare so much to let me know ‘I’m different from them?’
- No, I don’t want your number (Part 2) (jerusalem365.wordpress.com)
- “Get tough without ever losing your tenderness.” -Che Guevara. (travelmakerkai.wordpress.com)