As I am writing this post, Sai Baba has his gaze fixed on me.
There’s no avoiding the warmth in his eyes and smile radiating onto me even from a picture hanging on a wall above my head. Perhaps this was my inspiration to wake up early this morning with a strong desire to write about my journey towards spirituality.
I woke up giving thanks to God first and foremost. For bringing me this far on my journey, from the Dominican Republic to Haiti. Thankful to God for being the pillar inside me that makes me fearless and driven. Yet the comfort I need when I’m lost and confused. For being my guidance towards finding myself in least expected place…
At Sathya Sai centre in Port-au-Prince.
I believe in the power of the universe, the power of positive forces connecting and creating kinetic cosmic sparks of energy. It’s this type of energy I believe was created when I connected with Guylene in LA two years go. The New-York born Haitian photographer and I shared a car-pool with other Couchsurfers as we made our way from LA to San Diego for Brazil Day festival in 2011.
When I told her just months ago that I wanted to come to Haiti to volunteer, she immediately put me in contact with Carlos Suarez; one of the coordinators at the Sathya Sai World Foundation centre in Haiti. And it’s here that I have been for just over a week volunteering. Finding myself relish in a contentment that doesn’t even include having a social life (though this is something I will be happy to re-establish in due time)!
Seeing the children at the camps smile when we bring them their food is a priceless experience. And these children aren’t quick to smile at just any camera! They’ve been betrayed before. Lured into false pretences that their smiling faces captured on a shooting machine would bring them change. When that change never arrived, they protect their integrity by hiding their faces from the betrayer, from the camera.
And yet they opened their eyes at me, widened their smiles to me, extended their arms out for me. I would love to take full credit, but the truth is it’s down to the respect and trust they have for the Sathya Sai centre coordinators and staff, knowing that everyday without fail (excluding sundays) their food will arrive in the back of a delivery truck.
Spirituality will mean something different to each individual. For me, it’s about allowing myself to let go of mental weight, expectations. Detoxing from aesthetics and sexual pleasure (though neither are excluded) to focus my energies on loving myself internally. Allowing myself to be happy in its simplest form; contentment. When I’m in this state I exude gratitude to God. By loving myself, I am loving God…
I believe there are many channels to enhance our connection with God. My relationship with God is personal and spiritual. I know God has a purpose for me, how ever I can only act upon it when I have a clear mind. And with so many distractions from living in a bustling city such as London, it’s when I travel that I connect most with God.
I believe that God comes in many forms. We can connect with him by connecting with positive energy. Being thankful to the universe- our biggest source of energy is also part of connecting with God. I always try to bring back the Godliness I retrieve from my travels; contentment, the energy that keeps me sustained with glow. But it often fizzles out within a matter of days when I return to the pressures of ‘normal life’ and I’m left feeling empty again. Despite carrying on the routine of praying each morning, before meals and before going to sleep, there’s no depth.
And once you’ve felt the power of God inside you, the energy you possess, the enhancement of contentment in your life, you know there is more to God than just saying the routine prayers of thanks you’ve been programmed to do since childhood.
I’ve experienced my world enhanced by knowing God- that is loving the being which is me that He so perfectly created. I’m not here at the centre to change my religion or be swayed into a fantasy of escapism. I’m just opening up my mind to the different channels I can use to lead a fulfilled life of happiness.
And I’m at good place to learn… From the teachings of Sathya Sai Baba.
“Do not get attached to worldly things and pursuits.
Be in the world,
But do not let the world be in you.”
My journey continues…
- Finding myself here… Sathya Sai Centre, Haiti (travelmakerkai.com)
- Meet Carlos Suarez: A volunteer with a big heart (travelmakerkai.com)
- A taste of Haiti from the Sathya Sai Baba centre… Haitian Bouillon! (travelmakerkai.com)
- Hop on board!.. Join me on my journey in Haiti! (travelmakerkai.com)
- Finding myself… Missing myself (travelmakerkai.com)
- Thousands Find Spiritual Renewal at Self-Realization Fellowship World Convocation (prweb.com)
- Video Blog from the roof terrance of the Sathya Sai centre, Haiti (travelmakerkai.com)